Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Friends and family scattered across the states and globe,
This is Justin, still alive and well in sunny/smoggy Los Angeles CA. I haven’t written in a long while, and it feels like so much has happened and I’ve learned some important things since last I updated ☺ How to start, what to share? I’m not sure, but I have a few thoughts and I’ll start with those.
Imagination. This word has been sticking in my mind a lot over the past few weeks. How we imagine the world to be guides how we live, what we say, how we see, how we listen. Everyone has an imagination, and every community or body of people is guided by a certain way of seeing the world around them and themselves in it. I’ve been challenged by people who have such beautiful imaginations, many of whom are close to me and I talk to daily/weekly, to let my heart and mind be changed to see the world more as it is, as being a world in which God is moving and loving, and this gives me hope and makes me very nervous or uncomfortable much of the time. I see how different my imagination is from the imagination of the people I look up to, especially my Lord Jesus, and I see how much potential there is for my imagination to change, to be more like the good people’s way of seeing things.
Listening. I’ve heard of a psychologist who said that she would be struggling to find work if humans, in general, would be good listeners to one another. I’ve heard close friends talk about the church’s ministry of listening to others, and how we’ve lost it, and I’ve seen how I change for the better when I stop and listen to the community I find myself in, it’s pain and joy and questions and claimed answers. And most of all, when I listen to God and stop assuming I know what He’s thinking, I hear His love and that changes me to be a better lover of the people in my life. I’ve gone through periods lately where I’ve been such a bad listener, where I’ve given up trying to understand other people and just run and hide because I don’t want to deal with the thoughts inside of me that I don’t like, my crooked imagination of who I am, and I’ve found it such a struggle to quiet my thoughts and just be a good listener again, to the people in my life and to God most of all. It is so worth it, but it can be very hard to do. I am a worrier, and a worried mind doesn’t listen to anything but the worries. So I’ve been trying to stop worrying, and listen to anything else or anyone else around me instead of my own worried thoughts, and this has been a good thing. I had a thought the other day that I can only know the love someone else has for me if they express it, and this means that I can only know God’s love if He expresses it to me, and if I in return listen to the expression. This brings up questions like, “Well, God, how do you express your love to me? Because I can’t know it if you don’t sing it or show it or speak it to me.” This question has answers, I know, and I’m doing my best to not jump to conclusions but just keep listening, especially to Scripture and the people in my life who love me and who are patient with me when I can be so wrapped up in my own thoughts.
Work is going well, as far as I can tell at this point. The staff at SAY Yes! is amazing and they help me lighten up and laugh and look for what’s really important in life and in work. I really am starting to love them and appreciate their voice in my life. I am so happy about where I work and who I work with, and the kids are beautiful and full of life in the midst of a somewhat chaotic environment they find themselves in. Please pray for the families in our program, that the parents would get a break when they need it, and that the pain they go through would be shared and turned over to God for healing and comfort. Please pray that our staff would be open with each other and that God would help us see where our time and energy should be going. Please pray that I wouldn’t lose my creativity or energy in the classroom with the kids, because they need a loving and fun environment to learn and grow, and I want to be there to provide that with God’s help and with the help of the volunteers who faithfully come every week to help.
I’m about to pack up and head to work (public transportation has been a really cool discovery over the past few months, and I’ll be reading LA Times articles while I ride the train into downtown today, SO cool and more enjoyable than driving on the freeway, although my roommate and I have a good time listening to music when we do have to drive). The freeway can be dehumanizing, though, because you don’t have to deal with people and you can get mad at them for being selfish and not have to deal with them. The bus and the train are much more people-friendly. Sorry, this is a tangent ☺
I love you and miss you, each of you, and I’m trying to be better at picking up the phone and call when I miss you, so feel free to do so as well ☺. I have 5000 nights and weekends minutes, which starts at 7 PM Pacific Standard Time weekdays. Let this inform your decision! Until next time (which will hopefully be in a few weeks),
Justin (626-807-0334)
PS Sorry, there are no pictures this time :( I would take some new ones, but my camera recently was damaged. Not sure when it will be fixed, but that's the situation.
This is Justin, still alive and well in sunny/smoggy Los Angeles CA. I haven’t written in a long while, and it feels like so much has happened and I’ve learned some important things since last I updated ☺ How to start, what to share? I’m not sure, but I have a few thoughts and I’ll start with those.
Imagination. This word has been sticking in my mind a lot over the past few weeks. How we imagine the world to be guides how we live, what we say, how we see, how we listen. Everyone has an imagination, and every community or body of people is guided by a certain way of seeing the world around them and themselves in it. I’ve been challenged by people who have such beautiful imaginations, many of whom are close to me and I talk to daily/weekly, to let my heart and mind be changed to see the world more as it is, as being a world in which God is moving and loving, and this gives me hope and makes me very nervous or uncomfortable much of the time. I see how different my imagination is from the imagination of the people I look up to, especially my Lord Jesus, and I see how much potential there is for my imagination to change, to be more like the good people’s way of seeing things.
Listening. I’ve heard of a psychologist who said that she would be struggling to find work if humans, in general, would be good listeners to one another. I’ve heard close friends talk about the church’s ministry of listening to others, and how we’ve lost it, and I’ve seen how I change for the better when I stop and listen to the community I find myself in, it’s pain and joy and questions and claimed answers. And most of all, when I listen to God and stop assuming I know what He’s thinking, I hear His love and that changes me to be a better lover of the people in my life. I’ve gone through periods lately where I’ve been such a bad listener, where I’ve given up trying to understand other people and just run and hide because I don’t want to deal with the thoughts inside of me that I don’t like, my crooked imagination of who I am, and I’ve found it such a struggle to quiet my thoughts and just be a good listener again, to the people in my life and to God most of all. It is so worth it, but it can be very hard to do. I am a worrier, and a worried mind doesn’t listen to anything but the worries. So I’ve been trying to stop worrying, and listen to anything else or anyone else around me instead of my own worried thoughts, and this has been a good thing. I had a thought the other day that I can only know the love someone else has for me if they express it, and this means that I can only know God’s love if He expresses it to me, and if I in return listen to the expression. This brings up questions like, “Well, God, how do you express your love to me? Because I can’t know it if you don’t sing it or show it or speak it to me.” This question has answers, I know, and I’m doing my best to not jump to conclusions but just keep listening, especially to Scripture and the people in my life who love me and who are patient with me when I can be so wrapped up in my own thoughts.
Work is going well, as far as I can tell at this point. The staff at SAY Yes! is amazing and they help me lighten up and laugh and look for what’s really important in life and in work. I really am starting to love them and appreciate their voice in my life. I am so happy about where I work and who I work with, and the kids are beautiful and full of life in the midst of a somewhat chaotic environment they find themselves in. Please pray for the families in our program, that the parents would get a break when they need it, and that the pain they go through would be shared and turned over to God for healing and comfort. Please pray that our staff would be open with each other and that God would help us see where our time and energy should be going. Please pray that I wouldn’t lose my creativity or energy in the classroom with the kids, because they need a loving and fun environment to learn and grow, and I want to be there to provide that with God’s help and with the help of the volunteers who faithfully come every week to help.
I’m about to pack up and head to work (public transportation has been a really cool discovery over the past few months, and I’ll be reading LA Times articles while I ride the train into downtown today, SO cool and more enjoyable than driving on the freeway, although my roommate and I have a good time listening to music when we do have to drive). The freeway can be dehumanizing, though, because you don’t have to deal with people and you can get mad at them for being selfish and not have to deal with them. The bus and the train are much more people-friendly. Sorry, this is a tangent ☺
I love you and miss you, each of you, and I’m trying to be better at picking up the phone and call when I miss you, so feel free to do so as well ☺. I have 5000 nights and weekends minutes, which starts at 7 PM Pacific Standard Time weekdays. Let this inform your decision! Until next time (which will hopefully be in a few weeks),
Justin (626-807-0334)
PS Sorry, there are no pictures this time :( I would take some new ones, but my camera recently was damaged. Not sure when it will be fixed, but that's the situation.
